Uncertainty

The uncertainty is always the lingering feeling felt during the unfamiliar experiences. 

Travelling alone in an unfamiliar place during the night seems to be a ridiculous idea. Especially if the place is not a very safe place to travel with. However, I tried it since, being me a ridiculous person want to try it. Having only a cash of few hundreds and good for only a round trip fare; a cellphone with an unlimited text for a load traveled to Matalam, North Cotabato and to attend a cousin’s wedding.

At the duration of my travel, I anxiously thought of scenarios on what to do when I arrived at the province since I will be arriving at around 9 pm. Usually in the provinces there were no available public transportation after eight pm, aside from private vehicle. I thought to rent a tricycle after I arrived at the terminal but then I remembered it’s late. Another thought comes to mind that I just check in at the inn  but also I don’t have enough money for the lodging. Anyway, I kept myself distracted during the ride and look for some landmarks since I am not familiar with the landmarks at night to ease the fear and anxiousness. I know what are the landmarks on the way to the province but it is my first time to travel to Matalam at night. Well, after a few minutes I’m back being agitated on my seat, I kept on glancing on my phone, hoping that my cousin will text me and offer me to fetch me at the terminal. Looking outside the window, left and right but having no luck for some landmarks to see. Then, I tried to asked my seatmate if where were we already but sad to say she is also not familiar with the landmarks. And me, became desperate, I tried my other cousin’s number and texted him if he’s in the province. A big sigh of relief when he replied and offered to fetch me. . . but It is not the end of ‘kalbaryo’ yet, I didn’t know where to stop because apparently the van will not stop at the terminal. So I waited for the opportunity to tell the driver to drop me at the round ball.Because I was seated at the second row of the van and I was embarrassed to shout. Then, there was a girl who stopped at the nearby town. I finally asked the driver to stopped at the round ball of Cotabato province. At that time I felt like it is a very big accomplishment to asked the driver.

Well, I safely arrived at my cousin’s house and had a late dinner and talked to some relatives who were there when I arrived. But the mixed lingering feeling of excitement, the adrenaline, the fear that I may not arrived is still there. Maybe I felt afraid when I was in the van because I don’t have extra money. Hahaha. Since, I always tell myself that I can travel where ever I want if I know how to read and has enough money.but nevertheless, I enjoyed myself at the province.

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